THE BIG DAY!

So the babies are 28 days old now, and I am just getting the chance to sit and write about the day of their birth... Let me just start out by saying this is not going to be easy for me.

I woke up at about 4 AM the morning of their birth ready to go, but my section wasn't scheduled until 9:00.. So, I put my make-up on, painted my nails, and finished packing the last few things as I was leaving room 220 to never return (I was very excited about that!)  My nurses started coming in around 6:30 to start getting me ready for surgery - IVs, meds, paperwork, etc etc etc.  Ryan arrived around 7:30 and my family arrived around 8:00.  Just before 9, they wheeled in the stretcher, I climbed on... As they opened up the door, there stood all of the nurses, techs,  and other staff that day that had been taking care of me the past 13+ weeks.  Ryan walked along with us as they wheeled me down the hall and through the doors into surgery.  Ryan sat outside the door of the operating room as they got me on the table, epideral in, and prepped.. There were over two dozen people in the operating room I was in.  There was also a second operating room with a team for Baby A.  There was not enough room in the operating room for all three babies and me. 
I was very cold, nervous, and scared during this time.  The epideral is really nothing.. the only thing that makes it bad for me is that they have to push along your spine to find the perfect spot.. so they had to push where my disc is herniated...
As soon as they laid me down and the curtain was up, they started cutting as Ryan was walking in to sit down.  I asked the anesthesiologist to tell me what they were doing throughout the entire process.  With in a minute or two, they pulled out baby A (aka Chloe). She cried a little and off she went, then baby B (aka Sophie), then baby C (aka Hollis).  They really had to pull to get him out.  There was tons of pressure and I couldn't breathe for a few seconds.  As soon as they pulled him out, I was finally able to take a deep breath.  I hadn't been able to do this in weeks!!  Ryan commented on how well I was able to breathe.  I kept asking Ryan how they looked and if they were okay.  They had to put Hollis on oxygen to help him breathe.  As soon as they got all three babies stable, they took them up to the NICU.  I was able to glance at them as they left the room.  I didn't get to really see them until later that afternoon.  It wasn't anything like you see on tv on all of the Baby Story shows where they lift the baby over the curtain, clean them up, and then you get to touch and hold them... I wanted so much to see them but I couldn't... After they closed me up, they took the cerclage out.  They said it was perfectly intact.  They couldn't believe it.  Those couple little stitches were all that was holding the babies in.  I lost a lot of blood during the surgery, which made recovery very bad! When I got back to recovery they said I would be back there around 2 hours.   They said when I regained feeling and my pain was under control then I'd get to go to my new room on the 3rd floor...  I regained feeling a lot quicker than with my epideral when I had the cerclage.  And with that came horrendous pain!  On top of just the epideral wearing off, they had to come in take the binder off (big elastic belt over my abdomen compressing it so help keep pressure on the incision and compress my uterus to shrink back down to normal) and push on my abdomen to ensure that I wouldn't clot and hemmorage.  They had to do this every 20 minutes or so.  I can't even describe how painful it was... I'm not one to scream in pain or cry, but everytime the recovery nurse un-velcro-ed the binder and pushed on my abdomen I screamed very loudly (I wouldn't be surprised if you could hear me out in the waiting room...) and tears would just start flowing.  Ryan was with me in recovery too and was absolutely amazing in taking care of me and trying to keep me calm.  One of the NICU nurses came down and brought us pictures of the babies.  This was the first time I got to really look at them.  The NICU nurse asked Ryan if he wanted to go up and see them.  I told him I would be okay and to go see them and make sure they were okay.  He took a bunch of pictures and videos and was back down in 15 minutes or so in time to be with me when the nurse had to push on my abdomen again.  I had to get an extra dose of pain medicine on top of what they gave me at the end of the section that was supposed to last 24 hours HA!  I finally was able to leave recovery after 3 hours.  Once I got settled in my room, I decided that I thought I was ready and okay enough to go to the NICU to see the babies.  Ryan wheeled me down to the NICU and I was only able to see Sophie and Hollis before I got extremely nauseas and had to go back to the room.  My family came up and Ryan took each of them into see the babies one at a time. 
I finally was able to see Chloe at around midnight when I felt well enough to go back down to the NICU.  During this time we were able to hold her.  She was the only baby we were allowed to hold that day. 
The day they were born was one of the hardest days of my life.  I was so happy to know that they were out, alive, and healthy, but giving birth to 3 beautiful babies and not being able to see them for hours.. having to ask permission to even touch them and barely being able to touch them at that was the hardest and most difficult thing I have ever gone through in my life. 

Robert Hollis (Baby C)

Sophie Marie (Baby B)

Chloe Jean (Baby A)

Me holding Chloe for the first time

Ryan holding Chloe for the first time

Lindz Plans, Ryan Prepares

So today marks the 30th week of our triplet pregnancy journey and i believe this may have just become the most difficult time in our marriage and lives in general.

I grew up in a home where my family did their best (a great job) of taking care of us,..but i also grew up in a home that i can never remember anything going perfectly according to plan.  I crashed our family suburban into the inner garage wall, many years later that suburban (after an oil change) had the engine lock up.  My dad went through some 29 knee surgeries, and the last one was a double knee replacement where he ended up with a really bad staph infection.  While recovering from one of those knee surgeries, i accidentally set the yard on fire, and my dad had to come stumbling down the stairs to help me put it out.  My little sister was an unplanned pregancy 9 years after i was born, which definitely changed the family dynamics.  I went through 5 concussions over the years, i basically had each of the 5 levels of concussions.  This just barely touches the surface of all of the craziness that my life has been filled with while growing up.  I can say without a doubt that it has all helped me become a stronger person.

If you read the blog just before this one, you will know how much of a planner lindz is.  Planning is great, but if you dont plan for the bad stuff, then you arent truly planning.  I will give lindz the benefit of doubt that the reason she never plans for the bad stuff is because she never had to deal with too much of it.  Whether her parents sheltered her from it, or maybe she was just the lucky family that crazy things never happened to.  This is why Lindz and i are such a great team.  She plans, i prepare.

The phrase that i began using a while ago is "Prepare for the worst, hope for the best."  This is how my mind deals with pretty much everything.  This is how i remain emotionally detached from many situations.  Not saying it is a good thing, but it is how i cope.  Recently our female dog had puppies, and there were many complications,  4 puppies and only one of them made it.  I love our dogs, but i also know that they are just dogs, and if it became a situation where i had to choose between my wife and kids or the dogs,... i will choose my family first.

This pregnancy has raised all kids of fears and issues in my head.  Just over a year ago i watched our dog go through a similar situation, and knowing what kinds of complications are out there for the mother of multiples, i began preparing my mind.  If you didnt know, during a pregnancy, the doctor's 1st and most important goal is to keep the mother alive.  The babies come second.  I know this may sound harsh right now, but Lindz is the love of my life and if it became a choice between babies that i dont know yet or my wife,.... i would choose my wife every time.  I have also prepared my mind for the fact that all three of our precious bundles of joy may not make it.  It is going to hurt, but i know that i can get through it.  I dont want to loose any of our babies or my wife, but i have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

Our financial situation.  Just before the pregnancy began, i moved to a more stable company to help prepare a steady environment financially to afford our lives and children.  Lindz was working for Madonna Learning Center (A private school for kids with special needs), i was working for Memphis Pool Supply during the day and Coaching competitive Trampoline and Tumbling at night at River City Gymnastics.  Three jobs is what it was taking us to get by comfortably.  Lindz' dream job was with Madonna, mine is coaching, the pool work just happens to be something that im really good at and it brings in a large sum of money.

I do want to thank one of my best friends Adam.  Back in 2004 Adam took over feild managing his mother-in-law's pool company, well it could have been before 2004, but in 2004 he knew my work schedule with the gym and offered me hours to work during the day to earn extra income.  It was my play money back then, i was not married and had things i wanted to do back then for fun.  Both Adam and i are very mechanically inclined, and were both new to the pool industry, and we learned many things side by side.  We put our first liner in together, and it goes on and on.  I want to thank him for the opportunity he provided me.
In 2010, although his company had grown significantly, i felt the need to move to a larger "more stable" company.

 I did move, but then management changed twice since i was brought into the new company and things got difficult.  Lindz' pregnancy got complicated when we found out that she was having triplets, and we began to plan which didnt work out, and Lindz was put on bed rest a month before she planned which changed our income significantly 3months sooner than we had planned. Then on July 5th after i was coaching at Camp Woodward for a week, i was told by the pool company management that "It's not working out" and they were letting me go.  But it would be ok because they lined up another job for me with another pool company.  After a week of thinking and praying, i felt like God was telling me that it was time to work for myself and begin my own company to help provide for my family.

I sent out a message to family and friends asking for "prayers and customers" to help me get started.  Once again i was preparing and laying the groundwork to help my family survive.  Now i have been hit with a Non-Compete agreement that is stopping me from working in an industry that has proven since 2004 to be my main source of income.  I prepare for a lot but i definitely didnt see this one coming.  I dont want to take their customers, they offer a great product, i just wasnt fitting in with what they were doing at the time.  All i want to do is to provide for my family.  My unborn triplets and my wife.

So now i am between a rock and a hard place, i still coach, but there isnt enough there for me to be able to provide for my family.  Lindz doesnt have a job, and i lost my main source of income, so what now.  Our savings is quickly drying up, and im not sure what we are going to do next.  I really am worried this time,  i have prepared for a lot of things, but this is like the perfect storm of craziness that could have ever happened to our family. 

So do we move? And find a larger gymnastics facility for me to work at, and then i can start my own pool company on the side there?  But summer is almost over, so what are we going to do over this first winter?  Can you imagine moving just a few weeks or month after having triplets?  Can we even sell our house?

If you can imagine, this is the most trying time for my wife and my relationship.  Im trying to do everything i can to figure out a job situation, but flipping burgers still wont pay the bills.  Im not above picking up trash, i just need to find something that can pay the bills.  I am doing everything i can to be a steady rock for my wife, but im beginning to fall apart.  She has lost everything and every ounce of control or ability to help by being on hospital bed rest.  It is like a jail cell.  She just wants to come home.  And i want her here, but right now it is most important that she keep cooking our babies.

I am praying, and i believe that God has something great in store for us, i just dont see it yet.  And this is like walking through the fire and trusting him completely.  How can i give lindz confidence that things are going to be ok?  Cause i really need them to be.  This is something that neither Lindz' plans nor my Preparing could have seen or expected.

Thanks for all your prayers and support.

Mentsch tracht, Gott lacht - Translation: Man plans, God laughs.

Man plans, God laughs.. Yiddish proverb that I happened upon today, and it is so true as to our life the past year.  I have always had my life planned out, and it actually has gone as planned in the big scheme of things.  Finish high school, go to college for 4 years, get my dream job, marry the man of my dreams, and buy a house together.  This all happened just as planned.  I graduated from high school May 2004, college May 2008, signed my contract for my dream job June 2008, married the man of my dreams June 28, 2008, and bought our home October 2008. 
One of my friends told me around the time that Ryan and I started trying to get pregnant, that she learned the lesson that you can't plan it.  She was right, but I sure did try to plan everything anyways... I guess God was in need of lots of laughs.  It took exactly 1 year to get pregnant.  I sure didn't plan for it to take that long to get pregnant.  I thought how hard could it be... Then once we did get pregnant, I had it all planned out as soon as we we got a positive at home pregnancy test... We would have a fabulous easy pregnancy, our sweet baby at the end of September, and I would be able to return to work in January.  Then we went to our first prenatal doctor appointment.  God needed another laugh that day.  He surprised us with TRIPLETS! There went my plan out the window.  There wouldn't be an easy pregnancy and there wouldn't be a delivery at the end of September... There would be a delivery much sooner than that... So me being me, I started on another plan.  Knowing that some women with multiples have more severe pregnancy symptoms, I still thought I would be able to handle it no problem! I wasn't going to have morning sickness that bad, etc etc... HAHA I can just hear Him laughing.  I had horrible morning sickness. I was throwing up every morning, barely making it to work in one piece.  Some days were worse than others.  Ryan took great care of me though.   He would pick me up off the bathroom floor after I threw up everything in me and carried me back to bed where I would stay for the rest of the day - not being able to eat and running back and forth to the bathroom.  Knowing I would most likely be on bed rest at home during the pregnancy and worst case scenario I would be on bed rest in the hospital, I started my plan... I would finish out the school year.  Stop working the first week in June.  Then go on bed rest at home for the rest of the summer and we would have our scheduled C-section in mid August.  Well God needed another laugh again.  April 20th I went to see my maternal fetal specialist, where they found that my cervix was shortening and funneling (not good).  He told me that afternoon that I would not be going back to work.  I was done.  I was to go home and be a "woman of leisure."  I was to get up in the morning, take a shower, and then lay on the couch and just.. well be a "woman of leisure."  What is that!?  That's not me I don't sit around and do nothing, but I knew I had to and that's what I did.  This wasn't part of my plan, but at least I was home and again I started planning.  I would stay at home on moderate bed rest and everything was going to be okay... God really needed some good laughs I guess... Not 2 weeks later, I was directly admitted into the hospital.  I had surgery 4 days later to have my cervix sewn together to keep the babies in, and I was told I would not leave the hospital pregnant.  Now completely devastated, I tried to make the best of it...
Now let's back it up again to a year ago, Ryan and I decided that it was in our best interest as a family for him to make the move to a bigger company where he had the potential to grow and move up in the company.  So at the end of August last year, that is what we did.  Ryan moved to a bigger company.  We thought this was great.  He had so much potential to grow and support our family that we were trying to start.  He worked for this company for 10 months.  Well God needed a big laugh this time, I guess.  July 5th he went into work and was told that he was being let go - that his position was being eliminated. 
Now I sit here... trying not to completely lose it because it's not good for me and the babies, but it sure is hard not to when everything I plan seems to fall apart.  Maybe it's time for me to learn this lesson that God has been trying to teach me.  STOP PLANNING!  Have FAITH and FOLLOW... Now I sit here and pray that everything will work out.  It has to right?  God wouldn't give us something we couldn't handle... RIGHT?  We can handle this... I PRAY!

The Rule of Three

So if you haven't figured it out, in Ryan and I's lives everything seems to be happening in 3's - especially this year! We just celebrated 3 fabulous years of being married yesterday, we are pregnant with triplets, we have 3 precious dogs, I finished my 3rd year of teaching at my dream job, Ryan is coaching for the 3rd summer at Camp Woodward this week, Ryan is turning 30 next month, and we will have owned our home 3 years this October! 

I am now 27 weeks and 2 days pregnant!  All has been going very well, and our next milestone is fast approaching!  Dr. BK has been setting milestones for me to achieve rather than one ultimate date.  The first milestone that he set was 24 weeks, and come to find out when he did my cervical cerclage at 20 weeks he wasn't to sure that I would make it 4 more weeks.. BUT I did!  I have been proving everyone wrong and continuing along - not quite as I had originally planned when we found out we were going to have triplets - but continuing along.  The next milestone he set for me was 28 weeks, and I can't wait to meet it! I have asked Ryan if we can have a little party here to celebrate :)  If I make it to the ultimate goal, I have another 6-7 weeks in here, and I am beginning to wonder if I am mentally strong enough to do it.  Some days I am, but others not so much. 
I asked Dr. BK if after 28 weeks I would be able to have some wheel chair privleges, but he told me no "if it ain't broke don't fix it!"  He loves all of the progress I have made with my extremely limited activity laying in bed and doesn't want to change anything!  I have only been allowed to go outside one time over the past 7 and a half weeks (55 days) that I have been here to see my dogs for 5 minutes.  Dr. McDonald talked him into that for me.  Ryan came up 2 Sundays ago in the morning, wheeled me downstairs, brought each dog out of the truck one at a time so I could love on them.  I was very happy that I got to see them, but it was very hard too.  I begged Ryan to put me in the truck and take me home. 
I have had more harder days recently, and I think it's mainly because I am sitting here alone almost all day everyday.  My family and Ryan come almost every night.  I had lots of visitors the first few weeks I was here, but not anymore.  Every once in a while a friend will come visit though and I am so thankful for that because it really keeps me from thinking about being here alone. 

Last Monday, I had to do the 1 hour blood glucose screening, and I failed it.  I was devastated, but was told by my doctors and nurses not to get worked up yet - harder said than done.  I had the 3 hour test the following day.  I wasn't allowed to eat after midnight (no big deal I don't eat after midnight ever anyways), then they drew blood at 5:30 AM.  I then had to drink 10 oz of glucola (which tastes like orange flat soda) in less than 5 minutes.  They then drew blood again at 6:30, 7:30, and 8:30.  I passed the fasting blood work, and then had to pass 2 out of 3 after I drank the glucola.  I thankfully did.  I passed the first, failed the second, and passed the third.  THANK GOD! 

The babies are all growing and are very active.  They measured the babies during ultrasound on Monday, and Chloe weights 2 lbs 5 oz (probably a little more but she is so curled up it's hard to get accurate measurements), Sophie is 2 lbs 11 oz, and Hollis is 2 lbs 7 oz!  That's over 8 and a half pounds of babies!  I am so excited with the amount of weight they have gained!  I have gained as well which is good.  All of my weight gain has been in my big belly that is now measuring over 40 weeks pregnant if I was having one baby.  This is really starting to take a toll on my body.  I can't get comfortable in any position, and am now waking up A LOT through out the night in extreme pain in my hips and back.  For those of you who don't know I have a herniated disc (L5 - which is the lowest disc in your back).  Last night one of the girls kept pushing on my sciatic nerve.  For those of you who haven't experienced sciatic nerve pain be thankful!  It nearly knocks the breath out of you the pain is so bad.  My doctors ask every day how I am doing if I am having pain anywhere, etc. etc. When I do tell them, that my back and hips are hurting and all of my joints ache they always tell me well that's part of pregnancy and it's just going to get worse.  One day, one of them jokingly said they needed to get the violins in here.  I know that all of my pains and aches are because of me being pregnant, but they ask so I answer...
I really would like to make it at least another 3 weeks so the babies will all be well over 3 lbs if not almost 4 lbs.  That would be great.  It would be great if I could make it to 34 or 35 weeks, but with how my body is reacting to the amount of weight and pressure of triplets I am beginning to wonder if my body will be able to handle it that long...

I haven't blogged in so long, and this post has been very long so I think that's all for now... Thanks for all of your prayers and support!  We greatly appreciate it! 

Lindsey

Day 24

Today has been a hard day.. I've been very sad today and am really getting cabin fever I guess... I'm really tired of hearing people complain about how hot it is outside or having to run errands or having to clean the house or having to go to work, etc etc etc I don't want to hear it because I would love to be able to do any of those things!  I want so much to be able to go outside for just 5 minutes so Ryan can bring atleast my Madi to come see me...
I asked one of my doctors today if or when I would be able to go outside for a little bit and he basically said never... He said I can't leave this floor.  I said okay, he finished up and left.. as soon as the door closed I had a complete breakdown... Thank God Ryan was here. 
So here I shall remain until our beautiful babies are born.  Tomorrow will be 23 weeks so we are looking at atleast 7 more weeks probably more like 10 more weeks.. I have already been here over 3 weeks. 

Maybe tomorrow will be a better, happier day...
Good night

Things I miss

I love Spring and Summer and hate that I am stuck indoors all day everyday, but it's for a very good reason!  Chloe, Sophie, and Hollis are growing as am I!  My belly just keeps getting bigger and bigger! Thankfully I'm not gaining weight anywhere else AND I don't have a single stretch mark! 

So recently I have been missing a lot of things and they are such simple little things that I took for granted before I was put here... so if you read this don't take the little moments and mundane tasks for granted.. here's what I miss.. there's really no order..
- cuddling with my husband every night
- relaxing in the bath tub (there's only a stand up shower here)
- playing with the puppies and watching them play
- waking up to Zoe's wet nose against my nose then cuddling with her
- Madison cuddling up next to my feet
- kisses from Madi, Bo, and Zoe
- shopping at Target (or anywhere for that matter) - I have had dreams of shopping at Target though...
- teaching my class at MLC
- all of the hugs I received from my kids everyday while working at MLC
- driving
- walking
- being able to do things myself and not needing so much help
- cooking dinner
- having the variety of food at hand to eat whatever I wanted whenever
- grilling
- sitting on the front porch in my rocking chair
- going out to eat
- going to the movies
- getting dressed up
- having more than like 4 outfits that fit
- going to my church
- setting up our nursery
- sewing
- designing new appliques
- going to get manicures and pedicures.. I'm in desperate need of a good pedicure
- walking to the mailbox
- doing my own laundry
- feeding the dogs
- being able to do things for my husband
- gardening.. planting all of my summer flowers
- eating breakfast in bed with Ryan on Saturdays and Sundays
- watching all of our favorite shows together
- being OUTSIDE
- baking

I could go on and on... but really if you are reading this don't complain about the little things you have to do everyday because you never know one day you may not be allowed to do them..

I will be 23 weeks on Monday! One more week til we meet our first goal.. 24 weeks! At 24 weeks I will get steroid shots to boost the babies lung growth.  Then our next goal will be 28 weeks. 

I found some crochet patterns to make preemie hats so I have been starting to figure those out... I'm hoping to start smocking soon! I want to make their baptismal gowns as well as other outfits but I definitely want to make their baptismal gowns!  I also want to start making bows for the girls because of course they will need a bow to match every outfit! :)

I have been trying to figure out what all we still need and it's so hard to make a list when I am not sitting at home in front of the stuff that we already have... I am also trying to figure out how much of everything we will need... it's so hard to know what we will need 3 of or not.. I know for sure that we need 2 more cribs and mattresses but past that I get very overwhelmed... I wish I could go to the store myself and shop for things we need, but for now I'm just ordering things online and surprising Ryan with boxes at the door :) haha

Well it's almost time for night time meds and monitoring... so good night!

Lindsey

Day 14

Today is my 14th day in the hospital!  It's going by pretty fast.  I am used to the hospital routine, but then again I'm not.. I hate that "dietary" comes in every morning at 7 AM and is so happy and cheery! I am NOT a morning person, and I do appreciate that you are bringing me my cereal and milk BUT do you have to be so happy and cheery!?? haha
Yesterday morning was quite entertaining for me!  This is a teaching hospital, and on some days there are nursing students here, and yesterday there were 4.. I had one that had to do her "assessment" on me.  She had no clue how to use the monitor to get my blood pressure... So, ME the special ed teacher taught her how to do that! haha Then she couldn't figure out how to get the thermometer off the wall, so.. I showed her how to do that.. Then she had a bunch of questions to ask etc.. She seemed kind of shocked when I answered the question when did you start taking prenatal vitamins? I answered.. with 5 months prior to being pregnant!  This was after I told her I was on Clomid.  We were trying to get pregnant, and you are supposed to take prenatal vitamins when you are trying! DUH! The earlier you take them the better... Anyways we got through her million questions, she left for a little bit.  They all went and watched a C-section, and then my real nurse came in with the 4 students and she taught them how to find fetal heart rates on mommies of multiples.  She explained that you can't find one baby at a time... you have to find all 3 at the same time to ensure that you aren't getting the same baby twice.  So, 30 minutes later they were able to all coordinate themselves into getting my 3 little ones' heart beats at the same time... It probably didn't help that I had a chicken biscuit and sweet tea for breakfast hahaha I was laughing inside the whole time!  The students left and my nurse was like thank you so much for putting up with that I wanted to just take it out of their hands and do it myself like we do every other day! She and I usually tag team it and find all 3 babies pretty quick.. I told her I didn't mind the students as long as they don't come anywhere near me with needles.  I will only allow nurses that are extremely qualified and great with shots, IVs etc near me!  haha

I had a complete breakdown today at lunch over the horrible cafeteria food.. I have decided that past my cereal and milk in the morning - I will no longer order anything from any one of their menus here!!!  I am getting a microwave for my room.. I have no clue if that's allowed, and will battle that out if they tell me I can't have it.  It's either they allow it and I am able to eat healthy and I am able to continue to gain weight for my babies OR they take the microwave from me and continue to bring cafeteria crap and I don't eat it and lose weight.. How is that healthy for my babies!?  Ryan nor my family can bring me lunch and dinner every day and they shouldn't have to... and I don't want take out or fast food twice a day every day.  AND I don't eat just 3 meals a day anymore.. I eat approximately 6 small meals or more every day!! I am eating something every 2-3 hours unless I am sleeping :)
Anyways, I probably sound like a spoiled brat, but I am pregnant with triplets and am picky...

I have started crocheting again and am enjoying that, and I have caught up on all of my favorite tv shows.  Thank God they have full episodes on the computer now!
That's all for tonight!
Good night!!