Man plans, God laughs.. Yiddish proverb that I happened upon today, and it is so true as to our life the past year. I have always had my life planned out, and it actually has gone as planned in the big scheme of things. Finish high school, go to college for 4 years, get my dream job, marry the man of my dreams, and buy a house together. This all happened just as planned. I graduated from high school May 2004, college May 2008, signed my contract for my dream job June 2008, married the man of my dreams June 28, 2008, and bought our home October 2008.
One of my friends told me around the time that Ryan and I started trying to get pregnant, that she learned the lesson that you can't plan it. She was right, but I sure did try to plan everything anyways... I guess God was in need of lots of laughs. It took exactly 1 year to get pregnant. I sure didn't plan for it to take that long to get pregnant. I thought how hard could it be... Then once we did get pregnant, I had it all planned out as soon as we we got a positive at home pregnancy test... We would have a fabulous easy pregnancy, our sweet baby at the end of September, and I would be able to return to work in January. Then we went to our first prenatal doctor appointment. God needed another laugh that day. He surprised us with TRIPLETS! There went my plan out the window. There wouldn't be an easy pregnancy and there wouldn't be a delivery at the end of September... There would be a delivery much sooner than that... So me being me, I started on another plan. Knowing that some women with multiples have more severe pregnancy symptoms, I still thought I would be able to handle it no problem! I wasn't going to have morning sickness that bad, etc etc... HAHA I can just hear Him laughing. I had horrible morning sickness. I was throwing up every morning, barely making it to work in one piece. Some days were worse than others. Ryan took great care of me though. He would pick me up off the bathroom floor after I threw up everything in me and carried me back to bed where I would stay for the rest of the day - not being able to eat and running back and forth to the bathroom. Knowing I would most likely be on bed rest at home during the pregnancy and worst case scenario I would be on bed rest in the hospital, I started my plan... I would finish out the school year. Stop working the first week in June. Then go on bed rest at home for the rest of the summer and we would have our scheduled C-section in mid August. Well God needed another laugh again. April 20th I went to see my maternal fetal specialist, where they found that my cervix was shortening and funneling (not good). He told me that afternoon that I would not be going back to work. I was done. I was to go home and be a "woman of leisure." I was to get up in the morning, take a shower, and then lay on the couch and just.. well be a "woman of leisure." What is that!? That's not me I don't sit around and do nothing, but I knew I had to and that's what I did. This wasn't part of my plan, but at least I was home and again I started planning. I would stay at home on moderate bed rest and everything was going to be okay... God really needed some good laughs I guess... Not 2 weeks later, I was directly admitted into the hospital. I had surgery 4 days later to have my cervix sewn together to keep the babies in, and I was told I would not leave the hospital pregnant. Now completely devastated, I tried to make the best of it...
Now let's back it up again to a year ago, Ryan and I decided that it was in our best interest as a family for him to make the move to a bigger company where he had the potential to grow and move up in the company. So at the end of August last year, that is what we did. Ryan moved to a bigger company. We thought this was great. He had so much potential to grow and support our family that we were trying to start. He worked for this company for 10 months. Well God needed a big laugh this time, I guess. July 5th he went into work and was told that he was being let go - that his position was being eliminated.
Now I sit here... trying not to completely lose it because it's not good for me and the babies, but it sure is hard not to when everything I plan seems to fall apart. Maybe it's time for me to learn this lesson that God has been trying to teach me. STOP PLANNING! Have FAITH and FOLLOW... Now I sit here and pray that everything will work out. It has to right? God wouldn't give us something we couldn't handle... RIGHT? We can handle this... I PRAY!
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