I've Messed Up This Time

I hope that i gain just a little compassion from a few of my male followers out there, who have been in my shoes.

To begin i will make this statement:  I know that with children coming into my life that some things will change, especially with triplets.....  With that said, i really screwed up this time.  As you all know, Lindz has been extremely exhausted, and it is really throwing her off her game.  It is throwing me off as well.  Usually Lindz will teach from 8-3pm then go teach dance, or private tumbling lessons, come home and sew 15million t-shirts for her customers, and then wait til i get home to spend some time with me, maybe watch our favorite shows (NCIS, NCIS Los Angelos, Glee, House) together, then go cuddle and go to bed.  This pregnancy is taking every ounce of energy from her.  Around the house we have chosen specific tasks that each of us normally take care of,.. Lindz does laundry so i dont screw her stuff up, and i do the dishes, garbage, and mow the lawn.  Lindz used to have to vacuum and clean, but since the pregnancy started we got a maid for every other week to clean the house. 

I guess my biggest issue is the frustration of having to listen to her complain, and i think logically, and begin to make plans on how to fix things, but then she feels like i am lecturing her.  I truly love her and hate feeling this way.... it is just really tough to not be able to help.  If you know me, i keep going non-stop all the time, and that isnt going to change when we have kids, it cant.  In order to put food on the table i have no other options, unless by some miracle someone drops 1-2million in my lap and says here is the money, start a gym.  ( I am trying to work on getting a loan in my free time,.. just an FYI)  Tonight i came home after coaching and Lindz was still sitting on the couch watching tv,... i really feel as if she has given up on even trying to get anything done. i know that this pregnancy is taking alot out of her, but if she was sooooo tired, why wont she just go to bed, get the good rest she needs, and then move on.  This is really a stark realization of how bad it is going to get when she really cant do anything for us.

I think that the reality set in for her, that having these three little monsters is going to be way more than the full-time plus jobs that she has had historically.  The reality of the kids never seeing me because of work.  The reality that she will feel trapped with the kids all week long until i have some time on saturday /  Sunday where she can have some time for herself.  I also think that she really doesnt want to be a housewife, although i know she wants to raise our children.  The loss of her income is going to be tough for us, but we will make it through. 

I am currently fearful of the sewing jobs she has pending, and that they will stop using her for projects if she cannot finish them in a timely manor.  I would run her sewing company way differently if i were in charge,...lol

I dont want to put more on her than she can handle, but i feel like sometimes she does it to herself.  Or she is taking on tons of things without realizing how crippling this pregnancy is going to be. 

With children, it is my opinion that there still needs to be "adult time" where the parents go out and socialize with other adults.  I feel that the parents cannot become "best friends" with their children,  the relationships cannot and will not work that way.  I also feel that each individual adult needs some alone time every now and then to get away. (i want mine to be motorcycle riding) 

I made lindz cry tonight because she made a comment about us needing to sell the motorcycle.  Im sure all of the women reading this will side against her that we should, but i need that feeling of freedom while riding.  I can say this "All work and NO play makes for an Ugly Ryan"

After saying that, please dont read into it that all i want to do is go ride my motorcycle and never spend anytime with my kids.  I cant wait to play with my kids, but that doesnt mean that daddy doesnt want to go play with his friends anymore.  I know my life will soon revolve around my children, but that doesnt mean that im never allowed to have fun outside of my home, or without my kids.

Once again, Lindz is sleeping and im typing.  Im sure she will come back and spell check or correct my post.  Thanks for reading, and if you have any suggestions or comments, please let us know.